Don't Take Anything for Granted

Three months unemployed, but I feel as though all this treading water is going to lead to something quite soon.  I've had two great interviews at an unbelievable place and think that this will be it for me.  After being unemployed for three months, I have had time to really re-evaluate the importance of things as my funds are so limited.  I thought it would be a great time to write about not taking things for granted.

At one point in my life I was so financially comfortable I didn't ever have to worry about anything.  I made weekly mall runs and purchased whatever and never thought twice about it.  There was never a price I didn't balk at.  Then, divorce hit, and a nice 6 figure income was cut by a little more than half.  And worse yet I became unemployed and lost even more! These last three months have been about getting by and tightening my belt.  I haven't purchased anything that wasn't a need.  It's been tough and I am sad that when I did have money I took it for granted.  But you can bet now when I get back to work I am going to think a little harder about every purchase I make.

Family is something many take for granted.  Living 800 miles away from mine I don't.  I got to spend a wonderful few days with my parents last week and enjoyed every second.  They are getting older (although they don't look it :) ) and each time I see them could be the last. I don't hold back on hugs, kisses or "I Love Yous".  I never want to be left with any regret, just in case.

Below are some other things I have taken for granted, what do you take for granted?

1. Health Insurance
2. Running Water
3. A Roof Over My Head
4. Friends & Family
5. Love

Project Citizen

I am a keen observer of goings-on in the world.  Lately I have noticed that many people are just not good citizens.  When I say citizens I mean that they lack the basic public courtesy's.  When I am out and use a shopping cart, I always put it back.  To me, that is being a good citizen.  I hold doors open for people.  I smile when I met someone in an aisle, a street, whatever.

At Lowe's, I was fishing through my purse for change so I wouldn't have to use a large bill and the woman behind me kindly gave me the correct change.  I was shocked.  I had never had that happen before.  It was so nice and renewed my faith in people being good citizens.

Tell me what you do to be a good citizen.  

To the next President

Dear Mr. President:

Congratulations on your election into the oval office.  As an ordinary, middle-class person, I think there are some things you should know.

Please do something about the job situation in America.  I have been out of work for a little over 2 months.  I am educated, with a Bachelor's degree, have great skills and experiences, and wonderful references, but absolutely cannot find a position.

In the same tone, unemployment compensation must be higher.  I am barely scraping by with the meager amount I am getting on unemployment.  If it was not for having a boyfriend with an income, I would have lost my house, this thought sickens me.

Healthcare for the unemployed needs to be cheaper.  Right now I have no insurance because COBRA is ridiculously expensive and other providers are simply too high for me.  Because of this, I am forced to pay for a very expensive prescription out of pocket.  And let me mention I am purchasing it online in the UK because it is much more affordable than my pharmacy is.

Mr. President, I don't care for us spending money to help others overseas.  They hate us anyway and it stuns me that we should feed starving children in Africa, yet have starving children in America.  Something is not quite right with that.

I hope that your next four years in office really helps us out because we need it.

Not a Phoenix Moment

Alone

Swallowing my pride
I admit defeat
(as a Taurus, that's rare!)
Sweaty fingers release you
to another.
Long nights, shadows and booze
my only friends.
Pleas from slurred lips
tears from blurry eyes
shame me.
The mirror is a stranger
skinny woman--sad eyes
too young to be so haunted.
Dawn breaks, angels sing
(at least that's how it felt!)
An epiphany, my old, tired skin
balled up--thrown away
Not a Phoenix moment
(I'll never go down again!)
Flames lick their greedy tongues
on old memories
now dead.
My soul regenerates.
Better than before.
Compassion, patience, true happiness
unknown qualities
exude from me
like beams of light.

Unrequited Love

Unrequited Love

Longing
reverberates like a guitar's string.
An echo in a canyon.
Wanting becomes a thirst
that cannot be satiated.
A blaze
barrels through veins.
Unrequited
the word like sand
on teeth.
Eyes beg, plead.
A heart to beat
in rhythm to another.
Silence envelopes them
like death
and lips remain silent.
Breaking the gaze and a heart --
as he turns away.

Perfection

Perfection

Perfection slips
like a mouse through cat's paws
with it a shard
of feeling.
Unusual--
Unusually perfect?
Quickly the mortar shows cracks
I can breathe again.
For a minute, a moment
I got lost in you
but with a sharp look
I saw the imperfections.
My free fall has ceased
I hang precariously on the ledge,
as perfection flutters away.

Insomnia...

I've never been a good sleeper.  A true night owl, I stay up till the wee hours of the morning turning the pages of a great novel, these days its more like flipping the "page" on my Kindle, but I digress.  Since I can remember I just wasn't one of those people who laid down and fell asleep.  I would count sheep, then ducks, then cats and soon I had a farm.  My mind would run off to unknown places and the next thing I know I am up writing lists,   searching recipes, or whatever else I was thinking of.  I had a brief affair with Lunesta, but sleeping pills affected me in weird ways.  I have just come to terms with the fact that I am a bad sleeper, but have turned into one hell of a napper.

It's a good time as any to write a blog post and seeing as how I am on month 2 of unemployment it's time to update everyone on this long and seemingly endless search for a job.  After 2 months I've had one interview and countless "no's".  It is very frustrating, but what can a girl do but keep on moving forward even if it feels like I am on a challenge in Survivor going through mud.  I find myself with another interview coming Monday and I am hopeful, but always cautious to not get too hopeful lest I receive another rejection.  But I know something is around the corner and I just keep the faith since that's all I can really do.

After 2 months of unemployment I am finding the only part I like of it is sleeping in (going back to the bad sleeper thing).  No matter how hard I try, my cats do not talk back! And I think they are getting annoyed with me talking to them.  The house is cleaner than it's ever been and I have read like a mad woman.  I have picked up the guitar again and am learning a lot and making good progress.  I even started playing flute again.  Something I always loved and put down for many years.  But in all that, I need a job.  I want something to make me feel like I am contributing to society and to my bank account.  I want to sit in an office and do work (I know weird, right?).

Until then, I remain your wide-awake, every hopeful, job seeker.

Searching continues

Well, I am back to the drawing board again! I didn't get the job I so desperately wanted. I'm very surprised as I felt both my interviews went fantastic.  Not sure what went wrong, and of course they will never tell you, but if I was a betting person I would bet that they hired someone they knew.

So my fingers are once again hitting the keyboard searching for the elusive job.  Every opportunity out there seems so dull compared to the last one and it's really frustrating.  I find myself getting upset and almost throwing in the towel sometimes, but then I have to remind myself that things could be worse.  I am getting the most sleep I have ever gotten, my house is spotless, thanks to all the gym time my body is rocking, and I am slowly but surely teaching myself the guitar.

Until next time folks!

Day One of LiveFit

Steve and I have survived our first day of Jamie Eason's LiveFit.  I won't blog every day, but once in a while to keep you in the loop.  The weight exercise for the day was fine.  Definitely burnt out my chest and tricep muscles.  Steve overdid it and could barely finish the 12 reps.  He thinks there is no way we should be doing biceps tomorrow that we should either be doing legs or a day off.

The eating is insane.  I couldn't eat everything on my daily schedule.  I only ate the eggs for the breakfast as I was too full for anything else.  I didn't finish all my dinner either. We had fish and vegetables and sweet potato. 

I feel extremely full and my arms are a little sore.  Steve was hungry until dinner when he ate my leftovers!

All in all it wasn't hard eating clean or working out, hope the rest of the 12 weeks go this smoothly

LiveFit Body Building

I am a huge Jamie Eason fan, I think her body is banging and she has fantastic tips and tricks for getting a lean sculpted body. For most of the summer I have been using her strength training workouts in the gym and I am seeing results.  As happy as I am with the new muscles I have, I want to push myself and take it to the next level, so on Monday I will be embarking on the LiveFit 12 week program. 

Basically the program is this: 12 weeks of 3 phases.  The first phase begins clean eating and strictly muscle training, no cardio.  The second phase you increase the strength training and add cardio.  Phase 3 is hiit training.

I have read reviews and blogs of the program and I have read one bad thing about it.  So I have wrangled my boyfriend in to the program as well.  The one thing I can already tell I am not going to like about the program is the amount of food I will be eating.  It is all healthy clean food, but definitely a lot more food than I normally eat.  And of course alcohol isn't included in the program.

My goal for doing this is two-fold.  One- I love to weight train and hate cardio.  I would love to really define my muscles and get stronger.  Two- I want to change my eating habits.  I don't necessarily eat the best all the time.  I want to push myself and see what I am really capable of.

I will be posting our 12 week journey on my blog for the world to see.  It will hold us accountable as well.  I know there will be slip-ups along the way, but I think this will really work.

So stay tuned for our "before" shots and our first day.

If you would like to check out the program yourself the link is below.
http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jamie-easons-livefit-introduction.html

FALL in Love!

Fall is Mother Nature's reset button.  We put the brakes on from the high speeds of summer and cruise slowly into warm days, cool nights, a wildfire of colors, and a fresh start.  Fall is always the beginning to me.  The beginning of the school year, the beginning of the holiday season, the beginning of reinventing yourself for the year to come!  I look forward to football tailgating, cool evenings on the deck, crock-pots with chilli, and the crisp feeling you get during fall.

I hope that this Fall I get a new start with a new job.  Being a little over 4 weeks unemployed has me climbing the walls.  There is only so much cleaning, reading, and Pinning you can do! I did occupy an hour of my time with this cute little craft project

 

Fall also means darker nail polish colors

 

In honor of Fall, here is a list of my favorite fall things, what are yours?
1. Shorts with Sweaters
2. Bright colors
3. Crock pot dinners
4. Tailgating
5. Football
6. Snuggling on chilly nights
7. Apple Cider
8. Pumpkins
9. Halloween
10. Windows open
11. Apples
12. Dark nail polish colors

Finally! An Interview

After 3 months of job searching, I finally have a job interview! Since they called me on Monday, I have been talking to myself like a mad woman, preparing for my interview. I am eating, breathing, and sleeping potential interview questions.  I want to ace this interview and knock their socks off.  I have always enjoyed interviews because I feel as if I have a good handle on them and am always very prepared.  Here are my best interview tips for you!

1. Practice makes perfect! I am not lying! When I am preparing for an interview I go over the questions a million times a day.  I drive in the car, radio off and interview myself.  I walk through the house interviewing myself, in the shower... I think you get the idea.  I have a list of questions I made years back and just go through them repeatedly.  The more you know what you are going to say the less chance you have of being stuck on a question.

2. Know the company.  This seems like a no-brainer.  I research the company I am interviewing with and learn about them--the people, awards, recent news, etc.  They will ask you, I promise.  You will look like an idiot if you don't know anything about them.

3. Bring evidence of how you can help them.  The job I am interviewing for tomorrow wants someone who can re-do their website and set-up a blog.  I have created a blog post for a potential blog that I would do if I was hired.  You can tell them all the wonderful things you can do until you are blue in the face, but when you show them, they will be impressed.

Now I am off to practice my interview! Hopefully this next time I write this I will be employed again!!!

FUNemployed

It's been a long time since I've written and so much has happened in my life.  I am finding myself with some time on my hands, so you may be seeing more blogs from me!

Unemployment.  It's a dirty word, but someone has to use it, but that someone is NOT me! I am FUNemployed currently.  I lost my job on July 20th.  It's quite hard to gauge at this point how I feel about being FUNemployed.  I haven't had much down time in the last few weeks.  I went on an 8 day vacation to Mexico, and now am enjoying 8 days of my Mom visiting.  Steve goes back to school Wednesday and Mom goes home and that will be when the true FUNemployment starts.

I truly believe that your attitude determines so much in life, so I refuse to be sad and upset about not working.  I am getting my government check, which is peanuts, but getting paid to do nothing is a perk itself.  I have always held a job.  Since I was 16 I have worked never having any significant amount of time off.  I am going to enjoy every second of being home.  I am sure at some point I will get bored, but I hope that my dream position comes along before that ever happens.

Job searching is relentless.  There are millions of online sites to visit and search and you can easily get overwhelmed.  I've narrowed my searches down and have many job alerts sent directly to my inbox, but it still takes up a few hours a day.  Applying to positions are even worse.  A different cover letter for each and small tweaks to the resume and after all that work you rarely here back from the places you apply to.

I am taking time to figure out what I really would like out of life and a job.  I don't feel a huge need to find just any job so I have the luxury of applying to jobs I am really interested in.  And these days I find myself much more relaxed and calm.  Gone is the hour long commute, gone is the anxiety over a hated job.  I am just enjoying things.  Life is too short to hate your job.  I want to be truly fulfilled at my next one.

Two more days of Mom visiting and then I will be home alone during the day while Steve is at work.  I have lots of things on my agenda but I think I am going to tackle them as I want to.  A little relaxation never hurt anyone and hey-- I am getting a check to do it!

My Best Friend

Saying goodbye is something that no one likes to do.  Most people don't get a chance to say their goodbyes and are left with regrets and lots of words unsaid. I fortunately get to say my goodbyes to my best friend.  My best friend has chronic kidney failure.  I thought that it was something he was going to recover from but no matter how many prayers I've said or tears I've cried there is no getting around the fact that in a year he will no longer be by my side.

Odis has been my faithful companion for over 8 years.  A tiny, scared little kitten, I brought him home wrapped in a towel.  From the moment I laid eyes on him we were bonded.  The very first night he slept curled up on my shoulder trying to get as close to me as possible.  We've been that close ever since.

A near death scare made our bond even stronger.  As a tiny kitten Odis became very ill and spent almost a week in the vet's.  My free cat had now become an investment cat! But I loved him to bits and didn't care.

Odis began greeting me everyday I came home from school and continues to greet me the same way.  He will be sitting at the door that I enter and I will pick him up and he will nuzzle me.  I think he is trying to tell me he missed me!

I've never seen an animal be so in tune with my emotions.  If I'm upset, I don't need to do a thing-he just senses my emotions and gives me the love I need.  If I'm crying, he will be right next to me sniffing my head and giving me air kisses in my ear.

Odis has moved 5 times with me and has been a champ through all 5 of them.  The biggest move-11 hours in a car.  My baby did great with the help of some sedatives. 

He's killed countless spiders for me, warmed me when I was cold, comforted me when I have cried, made me laugh and smile when I was sad.  And I can't do a damn thing for him now.

When he became ill and I sat with him in the vets for hours. He kept looking at me with his huge green eyes wondering why he was being poked and prodded.  But when I burst into tears when I was told he had kidney failure, he forgot it all and comforted me.

Last week we were told his kidney failure is terminal--there is no telling how long.  For now he remains good.  I am doing everything I can, but knowing that it's not enough is crushing.  I am cherishing every second I get with my special boy.

I dread the night that I go to sleep and he is not there on my pillow. I don't know how I can bear it.  To some people he is just a cat, but he is my best friend.  I can take comfort in the fact that I gave this cat the best life possible and loved him unconditionally, but to know I couldn't save him will always hurt.

I love you Odis!

Love and such

I've been quite hesitant to post too personally here.  You open yourself up to a whole host of criticisms when you do so.  But after turning 30, I sort of have an "I don't give a fuck" mentality.  If you don't like what I have to say, too bad, I am confident enough in myself to not care what you think.

I am in the midst of the best love story that any writer could ever dream up.  I won't delve into the past--you know it, I know it, it's done.  I have truly found the one whom my soul adores.  Looking back, I can't believe I settled for less, but I guess you don't know what you're missing if you don't have it.

As a writer, I find it impossible to put into words my feelings for this man.  It's bigger than anything I've ever known, it's beautiful and frightening, it's absolutely tying my tongue into knots-it's everything and nothing all at the same time.  There is no one word to describe everything that I feel.  But he knows.  Because his feelings mirror my own, and if you are truly with the one you should be with, you know it as well.

This life we lead together is amazing.  I've never laughed so much in my life.  From the moment we wake there is smiling, laughter, goofiness, and this extreme affection for each other.  Never have I gave so selflessly to another without wanting a single thing in return.  Who knew I would be perfectly happy to make his lunches, fold his laundry, and cook his dinners?  And yet, it's so much more than that.

Even apart, we are very  much together.  As two extremely independent people we live our separate lives, but there is so much togetherness in the separation.  I can't speak for him, but apart I cannot wait until I am in his arms again.  I think I would be perfectly content to never see another person again but him.

There is such a perfect synchronicity in our whole love story.  The timing was just so that if I had turned a second too fast or too late this never would have come to fruition.  These people that we are have helped write the pages of this novel.  Had I not suffered and overcame there would be no us.  Had he not longed and looked there would be no us.

If there is such a thing as perfection, this is it.  To be so in sync with another is divine.  He is my soul.  He is my heart.  I was put on this earth to find him.  Just as Eve was made of Adam's rib, I was made of his.  I believe every person on this earth was created with another person.  God puts them on opposite ends of the Earth, and if they are truly blessed they will once again find each other.  We are blessed.  We cherish everyday together and nothing is taken for granted.  We continually show our appreciation for each other.

Who knows where this road we travel will go, but if we go together, everything will be fine.

30!

In just a few days I am going to turn 30 years old. Yikes! I don’t think it has even hit me that I will be that old and I will no longer be in my 20’s. It’s crazy how time goes by. Is this supposed to be a momentous occasion in my life? I’m not sure, but I want to make my 30^th year a very momentous year. I’ve never been one to push myself. I do what I want to do and if it’s scary, weird, or hard--I just don’t do it. So this year, in honor of being 30, I am going to do 30 things throughout the year. I’ve sat down and made a list of things—some I want to do, others are things I think I should do. So I plan on tackling two of these a month, or at least trying. I am going to randomly draw them out of a bowl and do them. A few of these are travel related so I may have to plan for them. The point of all this is to make my 30^th year of life the best one ever. I want it to be memorable and I really want to grow this year. So here is my list, in no particular order.

1. Go to a movie alone

2. Pay off my credit card

3. Make a cake from scratch

4. Build a savings account to $5,000

5. See my favorite sports team play

6. Have one month where I only spend money on bills & essentials

7. Dance in the rain

8. Have one weekend free from electronics

9. Take a cooking class

10. Publish a poem

11. Sing with a band

12. Go to New Orleans

13. See a sunrise

14. Take a hot air balloon ride

15. Do 50 pushups consecutively

16. Start a small company

17. Learn a new language

18. Stop watching tv for one week

19. Make a new friend

20. Go to a restaurant and have dessert first

21. Stay overnight at a bed and breakfast

22. Skinny dip

23. Take a photography class

24. Learn to salsa dance

25. Don’t talk for 24 hours

26. Participate in a charity walk

27. Stay in bed all day

28. Workout everyday for one month

29. Get a hot stone massage

30. Drive at the speed limit for one day

So there’s the list! Some of these will be much easier than others, and some may take so time (learn a new language), but I would like to give each one a fair shot.

As I look back on my 20’s I see someone that has grown tremendously. I really KNOW who I am. I know what makes me tick. A few years ago, I don’t think I had truly defined Andrea. I am confident now that I know what I am all about and what I want out of life and I won’t take no for an answer. So watch out 30 here I come!

Oh, The Places You'll Go!

Of all the places I've been and all the places I will visit, there is still no place like home (ok I stole that line!). But it's true. I consider Charlotte my home now, this is where I intend to settle and put down my roots, but Oswego will always be HOME. As boring as it has become, as shabby as it looks, it holds fond memories and of course, my family still resides there.

My most recent trip home was one where I began to see it through new eyes and almost had a lump in my throat when I thought of the way things used to be. Showing my boyfriend around, I felt embarrassed that this was where I grew up. I found myself continually saying "It never used to be like this". It's like finding your childhood teddy bear as an adult. Wow, teddy really does look that bad! I wouldn't trade where I grew up for the world however. There is nothing like growing up next door to your aunts, uncles, cousins, and both sets of grandparents. My family is tight like no other and we have each other's back no matter how long it's been since we've seen each other, but I digress.

I think my open-mind, and my travels have made me appreciate home all the more. I would never move back but I see it for what it is now, but the Oswego I hold in my heart is the one of yesteryear. I don't necessarily enjoy returning, it looks duller and duller with each trip and I swear the people I see are paused in time when I leave because I always find them in the same places when I return. But it's home. and I know that I will always be welcome there.

I haven't forgotten my gratefulness project! I am grateful for growing up in a small town!

In response to "Divorce is immature and selfish"

I came across this blog

http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2012/02/28/divorce-is-immature-and-selfish-dont-do-it/#respond

after finding the link on Facebook and just had to respond. My blood pressure shot through the roof the further and further I got through this article. Not only is it senseless, but the points are invalid and unfounded.

I believe the writer of this article is bitter after her own divorce, which she says happened 4 years ago. She does not delve into the reasons why, but I think she better open up her mind and think before she writes such an idiotic blog.

Her first point- divorce is a cliché among people in denial. WRONG. If I was in denial, I would still be married to a cheating bastard. Divorce is a very hard thing for people. It is not an easy answer. It is a huge life changing decision and I highly doubt any of these people are in denial.

Her point two is that divorce is nearly always terrible for kids. I really can’t comment to that. I don’t have kids, and am not a product of divorce. But I think that between having parents that fight and hate each other or having divorced parents, I would be a better child if my parents were divorced. Most of my friends come from broken homes and all of them seem pretty well adjusted to me.

Now this one makes me mad, divorce is for dumb people. Really? As a college educated woman I am extremely offended by this. I think it would have been dumber for me to try and stay with a man that had been cheating on me for months and was in love with his mistress than get a divorce. She states that “divorce is for people who can’t think ahead enough to realize that the cost to the kids is so high it’s not worth the benefits the parents get”. Again, I don’t have kids, but come on!

Divorce reflects mental illness. What a truly ignorant statement. No, I am sorry; divorce does not reflect mental illness, but rather, a smart person that got out. Give me a break! Mental illness??

Then her last point divorce is often a career issue. I can help with that. So it just goes to show the whole point of her article is to sell her services. Divorce is not often a career issue. I don’t know where she got these facts are but she is very, very wrong.

Penelope Trunk, here is my message to you. Before you go and write a blog that is absolutely moronic, unfounded, and untrue, do a little research. I was married for 6 years and with the man for 11. My divorce was not the result of a career issue, I was not in denial, I am not dumb, and I am not mentally ill. I know many people that have been divorced and not a single one of them was due to a career issue. Ms. Trunk, you are an idiot, and should keep your mouth shut!

It's Been Too Long

Life gets a little crazy and the next thing you know, it's been almost three months since you've updated your blog!

My life is hectic as usual, but I wouldn't have it any other way! Closing on the refinance of the house, finally getting this divorce finished, taking care of a sick cat, and getting ready to go to Oswego are keeping me pretty busy.

Most of you know, Odis has kidney failure. My sweet, loving, 8 year old kitty is very ill. I am absolutely devastated. He was close to death's door last weekend, but some nursing by Steve and me helped him tremendously! Tomorrow we will get the results of his blood work and a game plan. I pray that he lives another 8 glorious years! I don't know what I would do without his furry body snuggled beside me each night. And who will great me with his cute face at the door EVERY time I come home?

I am counting down the days, hours, minutes, and seconds, till this divorce is through. It has taken so long. Just a small bump in my life and it seems a million light years away. I think I will be financially screwed by it for at least a year, but on the bright side, I've become someone so much better.

And my trip to Oswego is less than a week away! I am SO EXCITED! Not only do I get to have my parents meet the love of my life, but all the siblings will be together! It is going to be fantastic! I can't wait! I just hope everyone loves Steve as much as I do and I can finally get a blessing from them!

Well its time to go! And I didn't forget about my gratefulness project! I am grateful for Odis. For the times he has comforted me when I cried, for his sweet disposition, for the way he makes me laugh and for just being a faithful companion.

Cleaning Out My Closet

There come's a point in most people's lives where you just have had enough of blood sucking, trash talking, negative people in your life! I no longer have time for people that are all about them. I don't have time for people that talk trash about me, I don't have time for negative people. Life is so short. And these types of people obviously have very small and boring lives if they have to resort to this type of behavior.

I decided to make cuts where it is the easiest and less noticeable -- facebook! So I went down my list of "friends". Many of whom I do not consider friends, many who are barely acquaintances. So I deleted people I didn't talk to. Then I deleted people that were negative on facebook and had annoying posts. After cutting off a good 15 people I started to feel a little better. That wasn't so hard.

Then a harder part. Cutting out the blood sucking friend. You know the one that only calls you and asks how you are to cry on your shoulder for hours. You can't get a word in and it just absolutely drains you! Because I don't like confrontation, I had to think hard on how to approach this friend. Drama would ensue if I said I was cutting off our friendship. So I decided to take an easy (read: wussy) way out. Just don't have any contact. When she calls it goes to voicemail. The voicemails are immediately deleted. I have been doing this for a good month now. I was hoping she got the hint, but no such luck yet. I feel sad to end this relationship, but relieved at this same time. I don't feel obligated to speak with her and be her personal therapist for 3 hours!

I lump the trash talking negative people in the same boat. These people I don't necessarily think should be cut out (family members reside among them), but they need to realize that what they are doing is hurting me and our friendship. So from this blog forward, I am going to handle these people differently. The negativity will be met with a positive statement from me. I won't fall into the negative trap. I will tiptoe away from that mess!

Trash talking is a little harder. It happens behind my back and then I hear about it later. And it's oh, so petty. I think with trash talking I have two choices. One to hit it head on, go to the source and address it, or ignore it and let them drown themselves in negative thoughts and evilness.

Cleaning out your closet can be therapeutic!

Gratefulness: I am oh so grateful for my family. They are funny and kind and although we are spread far and wide, we are close as if we lived with eachother.

Coupon Craziness

I have been a sporadic coupon user. If I came across a coupon for a product I used, I would clip it and use it, but for the most part, I didn’t actively seek out coupons or try and match them to the sales. This year I am going to really try and make the most of coupons and sales. My boyfriend and I aren’t name brand whores and normally go with generic—that in itself saves a lot of money. But why go generic when we can use a coupon and double or even triple our savings on a name brand item?

I know the basics of couponing or maybe even a little more than the basics. Use a coupon; get a certain amount off an item. If the item is on-sale even better, even better if the coupon is doubled! From all my research it looks like it’s best to use a coupon on an item that is on sale. Many hard-core couponers let the sales dictate what they buy for the week.

This week I am experimenting and am only going to buy sale items. That may prove a bit difficult if I need something that doesn’t happen to be on sale. I have already started my list and have one free item. Floss is on sale for $1 at Target, I have $1 off coupon. Therefore, my floss is free! Already starting off on the right foot!

Another idea behind getting the best deal is not to stick to one store. I usually have 2-3 stores I go to, but more for convenience purposes than the deals. This week I am shopping for the deals.

There are a gazillion websites out there about couponing or where you can find the best deals. It is like a kid in the candy store! I have about 6 websites that I really like and I have bookmarked them. I let them do the work for me! They will give you the sale item, the coupons, and the final price! Voila! No calculators and long division for me.

I have a good friend who shops very cheaply for her large family of 5 using coupons and following the deals. She purchases the Sunday newspaper with the ads and prints coupons from the Internet. I don’t get the paper and I am not sure if it’s really worth it, if the coupons I get online are the same as the newspaper. So for now I will stick to printing my coupons off the internet. I’ll update my coupon craze later in the week!

Gratefulness Project- I am grateful for sleep. I tend to not get enough of it during the week! On the weekend I relish going to bed and being able to sleep in. And anytime I can get a nap in is even better

In My Defense

This weekend I participated in a self-defense class. It was something I had always wanted to try, but never got around too, I must admit, I am SO glad I did.

I always felt pretty invincible. I heard about women being mugged, raped, kidnapped; but that is what happened to others, not to me. After hearing story after story and learning lesson after lesson - I felt incredibly vulnerable and ashamed that I thought I could never be a victim.

We learned moves that would help us in the event of someone coming up to us while we were seated in our cars. I was amazed at how easy it was to use technique to hurt someone that could completely overpower me. Again and again we practiced these moves so we could recall them in an event where we were being attacked. I started to feel that I may be able to safe myself, should I get in a situation.

What struck me the most about this class was the men teaching it. They were so passionate about empowering women and making sure we could defend ourselves. These men came from military, police enforcement, and martial arts backgrounds. They drilled into us that these men that attacked women were scum bags and we needed to do whatever we could to safe our lives.

I left the class feeling vulnerable and empowered - if that makes any sense. From now on, I will definitely become more aware of my surroundings and be much more on the lookout for something suspicious. It's my job to defend myself.

Gratefulness project- Being the beginning of January and 70 degrees - I am so grateful for nice weather!

A Decade of Missing

10 years ago today, one of the most influential people in my life passed away, my grandma. It was sudden and gut wrenching! I don't believe that I have been the same ever since. She has missed some of the most important moments of my life. I prayed to her for strength during one of the most trying times of my life--something that mirrors her own. I know for the last decade she has been watching me, but it still hurts to have her gone.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of her or wonder what she would think if she were alive. I strive to be at least half the woman she was and I don't think I ever could be that good. After her passing, our family was visited by ladybugs, often at times when we were down or felt like we needed a hug. I will always believe that those ladybugs are from my grandma. It's just her reminder that she is watching out for us. I believe it so much that I had a ladybug tattooed on my ankle.

I am proud to be from the same blood as my grandma. I am so proud to see how ahead of her times she was. What young Catholic woman divorces a cheating spouse and then takes her young son to a place unknown to re-start their lives? When I have a bad day I always think of how worse things must have been for her and yet she was so happy.

My mom says that we all have a bit of grandma in us and I really think we do. Each one of us shares a special trait with her and for that she will always live on through her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

My life has been forever altered because of the death of a great lady, but she will always be remembered by everyone that knew her.

For my gratefulness project: I am grateful for having known someone as wonderful as my grandmother!

January Gym Joiners

January Gym Joiners. Everyone knows who they are, heck – you could even be one of them! As a gym member for many years, I always dread the month of January at the gym. Faces you don’t recognize, extra people taking up “your” equipment, and puzzled looks as they try to figure out just what that machine does. I try not to hate too bad on them. They are TRYING to be healthy. But it always is the same. By the end of January its back to the same people and lots of open equipment.

As I sweated my way through another elliptical workout, I scanned the gym noticing all the January Gym Joiners. They’re easy to spot – they may be doing odd arm swinging motions – somewhere between a stretch and a Jane Fonda workout – or wearing their brand new workout gear complete with fancy headphones and shiny Nikes.

Don’t get me wrong, their intentions are good, but they try too hard and burn themselves out and by February 1^st, they are back on the couch wasting away their gym membership. So January Gym Joiners, here is my advice to you! Don’t expect to look like those who have been going to the gym for years. It takes time and a lot of effort. You won’t be going to the gym 7 days a week period. If you do, you are setting yourself up for burnout and failure. Aim for 3 days a week for the first month – see how it goes. Try new things. If you stick to the treadmill all month, you will be bored and will quit. Don’t be scared to ask how to use the equipment. We old timers will gladly show you how to do it, or the people that work at the gym will. If you go slow and try new things and keep with it, you may make it through January and maybe become a regular, but I think if you are really serious about joining a gym you will do it in any other month but January!

So for my gratefulness project – I am grateful for the snooze button! As my alarm buzzed at 6am I quickly hit the button and snuggled under a mountain of warm blankets for 10 more minutes. Even though I didn’t sleep I allowed my body 10 minutes to come awake and more time to cuddle fuzzy cats! So thank you snooze button!